


(In the Dark) We're Barely Hanging On

by usernicole



Series: flicker [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Maturity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 19:17:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13933569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usernicole/pseuds/usernicole
Summary: A conversation between two boys as the dust settles.a bonus scene





	(In the Dark) We're Barely Hanging On

**Author's Note:**

> someone on tumblr asked how keith reacted to...everything...that went down during echo a spark, and i went to answer and accidentally wrote a bonus scene. i realize that i only ever write these two talking right before they go to sleep, and the reason is because i am very tired. no one has read this over bc its very short and i just....didnt. sorry!
> 
> also sorry that this is so sappy
> 
> u def need to read the other fic to understand what is happening sorry!! hope u enjoyyy

It takes a while for Keith to say something, and Lance feels a little bit guilty for being relieved by that.

It’s not that they’re avoiding each other, but after the whole clone debacle everyone is busy. Lance, Keith, and Shiro had both needed time in the healing pods, and when they were out they were fixing the castle and attempting to sort out the mess the clone had made. As they stood, every active mission within the coalition and the Blade of Marmora were compromised. Bases needed to be moved, covers were blown. Lance is dead on his feet.

Keith has been around, but when he’s on the castle it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’s with Shiro. Shiro is building up strength, and Hunk has him on a strict meal plan, but he can’t be alone. They’d found fairly quickly that, when left alone, Shiro regresses back to the state Lance had found him in, unable to discern what is real and what is fake. Keith has taken to sleeping in Shiro’s room at night in order to reassure him. And yeah, Lance misses him, but Shiro needs Keith more. And anyway, Lance really doesn’t want to have the inevitable conversation about his time away from the team. 

Unfortunately, Keith doesn’t know this, and that’s why when Lance finally retires for the night after a long day Keith is waiting for him.

Lance groans. “Does it have to be tonight?” he whines.

Keith nods, looking solemn. “It had to be sometime,” he says.

Lance concedes his point, heading further into the room. “Can it way until I’m out of my armor?”

“Can you not talk and change at the same time?”

Lance winces. So this is how it’s going to go. Some part of Lance, a stupid part, thought that maybe Keith wouldn’t be mad about this. That maybe Keith would understand why Lance did what he did, and they can just move on and probably make out or something. 

Staring at Keith, sitting stoically on their bed with his arms crossed, Lance is realizing he had been very, very wrong.

Lance sighs, gesturing at Keith and starting the process of removing his gauntlets and boots. “Okay,” Lance says. “Hit me.”

“You and Matt had planned for you to leave. You planned it days in advance.”

“Oh, so you talked to Matt before bothering to come to me?”

“Don’t try and act like I’m the one who violated your trust,” Keith says.

“Oh my god, that’s not what I did,” Lance says.

“SInce when is lying and keeping secrets  _ not  _ a violation of trust?” 

“It isn’t when I’m doing it for an important reason!” Lance says, turning away to pull off his chest plate. “I’m sorry, Keith, that me not telling you my plan hurt you. But I’m not sorry that I did it. We have Shiro back now, the real one. That’s all that matters.”

“I could have helped,” Keith says. “I have resources, with the Blade. I could have come with you. I could have…” Keith stands, thrusting his hands into his hair and biting his lip. Lance’s face softens, and he steps forward with his arms outstretched.

“What could you have done, Keith?” he asks.

“I could have protected you,” Keith says, finally. “We could have protected each other.” He gestures helplessly at Lance. “ _ That  _ wouldn’t have happened.”

He waves a hand towards Lance’s hip. Lance has peeled his black undersuit down to the waist, exposing his chest. A large half moon scar cuts through the skin of his stomach, from his belly button to the back of his hip. Lance self-consciously covers it with one hand, looking down. Keith steps forward, covering Lance’s hand with one of his own. Keith says, “I could have helped.”

He pushes in closer to Lance, and Lance as always is useless when this close to Keith. As though Keith has his own gravitational pull, Lance can’t move away. “Why did you shut me out?” Keith asks, closing his eyes and dropping to rest his head against Lance’s collarbone. “I already knew everything, why did you keep me in the dark?”

Lance wraps his arms around Keith’s shoulders, pressing his lips to the side of Keith’s head. “I did it,” he starts, biting his lip. “I did it  _ because  _ of that.”

Keith pulls away, looking confused. “Because you would have come with me,” Lance clarifies. 

Keith’s brow is starting to furrow, his eyes narrowing in anger, and Lance scrambles to come up with the right words. 

“If I told you what me and Matt were planning,” Lance says, “you would have insisted we go together. And if the both of us went missing, where would that leave the others?” Lance detangles them, stepping away to pace.

“Pidge, Hunk, Coran, Allura,” Lance says, ticking them off on his fingers. “All of them would have been here alone with the clone. Matt couldn’t protect all of them. I knew that if I were gone they would call you back to fly Red. I knew you would be here to protect them.”

Keith crosses his arms, frowning. “They can take care of themselves,” he says. “They’re not helpless.”

Lance returns to him then, resting his hands on Keith’s hips. “But I was right, though, wasn’t I?” Keith looks away. “I  _ was _ . You came back and you made sure nothing bad happened to them. You protected the team. It’s like...It’s like when you left to the Blade.”

“How?” Keith asks. “You knew where I was. You knew what I was doing.”

“You told me you were able to leave because you knew I’d be here taking care of them. It was the same thing. This is where you needed to be.”

“The only place I need to be is with you,” Keith says. “The others, they would have been okay. You were out there alone, and I…” Keith closes his mouth, making a frustrated noise. “I didn’t do anything. I just picked fights with him, with it. I made things worse.”

“You  _ killed  _ it,” Lance says.

“With Shiro’s help.”

“ANd how do you think they would have done had you not been there?” Lance says. “If he decided to attack and you weren’t on the castle? They would have been completely blindsided.”

“Look, this doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t have gone in alone,” Keith says. “Maybe we could have brought in the others earlier, or maybe–”

“Keith, it’s in the past,” Lance says.

“But it’s  _ not _ ,” Keith says. “Because I can’t fucking  _ sleep  _ at night. I dream that you died out there, all by yourself on an enemy ship, and none of us ever find out what happened to you. And then I have to live without you  _ and _ my brother and...Lance, I can’t do it. I could barely function when you were gone. I can’t do any of this without you. You know that, right?”

Lance swallows. “Keith…”

“I love you, Lance,” Keith says. “So fucking much.  _ Too  _ fucking much. Promise me you won’t do anything like that again.”

“Keith, I love you too. You know I do. I couldn’t...thinking of you when I was out there is what kept me going.” Lance sighs. “But I’m going to do what I have to do for the team,” Lance says. “I can’t promise you that I won’t do it again.”

“Then promise me that you’ll at least tell me,” Keith says. “Even if I can’t go with you, just...tell me. The worst part was not knowing.”

Lance sighs again. “Okay,” he says. “Yes, of course, Keith. I promise.” He crosses his arms. They’re still close, and Lance still can’t quite manage to move away from Keith’s warmth. He groans, running his hands through his hair. “”I still haven’t said I’m sorry yet.”

Keith takes a deep breath, and it wavers a little on the exhale. “No, you haven’t.”

“Well, I am.”

“You’re what?”

Lance drops his arms, whining.  “Jeez, I’m  _ sorry _ already.”

“Fine,” Keith says, looking smug. “You’re forgiven.”

“Well, good,” Lance huffs. “Now, emotional maturity over. Can I finish getting changed now?”

“If you must,” Keith says. He turns on one heel, taking a couple of steps before dropping onto the bed. “Can we nap now?”

“It’s like, ten thirty,” Lance says. “I’m pretty sure that’s just called bedtime.” He looks over at Keith. “All you do is sleep. I married a sloth.”

“Not married yet,” Keith says, yawning. Lance freezes as he’s bending to pull off the bodysuit.

_ “Yet?”  _ Lance says, looking back at Keith. 

Keith is laying on his side, facing Lance. He shrugs. “You haven’t asked me yet.”

_ “Me?” _ Lance says, incredulous. “Why do I have to do it?”

“You’re better at that stuff.”

“Typical, I have to do all the work.”

“Okay, then I’ll do it.”

“No, of course you won’t,” Lance says. He goes back to pulling off the bodysuit, hopping around on one foot before he can pull it off all of the way. “My proposal will be beautiful, with like, doves and shit. You’re gonna cry.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.” Lance rummages around in his closet for pajamas. “I’m gonna cry, you’re gonna cry, Hunk’s gonna cry–”

“Why is Hunk at your hypothetical marriage proposal?” Keith asks.

“You think I’m going to make the single most important decision of my life without my best bud there?” Lance turns, clutching a t-shirt to his chest. “Are you kidding me?”

Keith wrinkles his nose. “He’s gonna act all grossed out.”

“Maybe he’ll be more mature by then.”

“Do we need other people there? I don’t want  _ Shiro  _ there.”

“That’s fine. Someone needs to set off the fireworks.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Keith says, and he’s smiling, soft and sweet. Lance can’t help but cross the short space and bend to kiss him. It’s that damn gravitational pull again.

“ _ You’re  _ ridiculous,” Lance says when he pulls back. “Talking marriage. I’m barely eighteen.”

“I didn’t say it had to be  _ now _ ,” Keith says, rolling his eyes.

“You haven’t even met my mother yet.”

“Oh my god,” Keith says. “Enough.”

“I’m just  _ saying–” _

Keith reaches up, pulling Lance down for another kiss. Lance goes easily, dropping one knee on the bed to steady himself. For the first time for weeks and weeks, Lance’s mind goes still and quiet. The ever-present tightness in his chest loosens, and when he opens his eyes it’s like everything is clearer. Keith’s eyes seem especially dark and wide, his smile especially bright. 

“We have time for all that,” Keith says. “For now, let’s just...enjoy it. Okay?”

Lance smiles back at him, slow and sweet. He says, “Okay.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> catch me over on [tumblr!!](http://www.wizzardblizzard.tumblr.com) maybe one day i'll be able to write something that isn't a part of this series
> 
> #naptime #letteamvoltronsayfuck


End file.
